Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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