i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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