Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So vagazzling was a success
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize