This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
