u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
