Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
