thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
