we have pet lesbian snakes
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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