R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
