i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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