I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
