What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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