Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
