Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
