Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
