do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
