I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
