sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
