yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
