Kiss
Puke
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize