this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize