I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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