So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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