I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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