Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We're too hungover to prance.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
