Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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