i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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