There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
