Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize