I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
