Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize