Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
