I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
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