i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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