Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
