john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
high people should be assigned attendants
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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