Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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