...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
