Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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