We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
