Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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