I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
