arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
