You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize