There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
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