Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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