It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
