I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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