Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize