the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
