the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
