last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize