It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
