he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
