so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
