I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
they're like a gay fantastic four
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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