As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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