So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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