what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
