come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
